True to an actual diary, I want to write down how I’m feeling about leaving The Netherlands behind for the coming two years. I love to read those kinds of personal stories myself, so that’s what I’ll write too. Here we go.
I used to think that I was this tough cookie who would go abroad for years without blinking. I was pretty sure I would not stay The Netherlands forever, but move to a cool city somewhere in the world and live there for the rest of my life. But now that the moment is actually there (moving for two years, not forever obviously), I realize I’m wrong. I have these moments when my brain is in full panic mode thinking: What the hell am I doing?!. Why would I leave behind the place I love? And even more important, leave behind my friends and family?
This doesn’t mean that I’m not also super excited about my move to Stockholm, because I am. About 99% of the time I can’t wait to get on the plane and start discovering the city. I want to eat cinnamon buns until I pass out, meet the people in my class and learn some words Swedish. I can’t wait to be part of the city and show everyone visiting me where to have lunch or which museum to go to. I’m absolutely sure that I’ll be fine and everything will feel like home soon enough.
I guess that feeling a little scared is just part of the experience of moving abroad and what makes it so exciting. And honestly, I feel lucky to have so much I will miss when I’m away.